No nice picture today. This is serious. Gather ‘round.
To the gentleman who commands me not to delete Facebook for (list of meaningless reasons):
I deleted Facebook two years ago, after having used it since 2008. I deleted Facebook, con mucho gusto, because it’s a complete waste of time, thank you Betty White, and I wanted my sense of reality back. I have no regrets, I don’t miss it, and I will never, ever use it again. Facebook promises to help you, when in fact it hurts you. There is no one I need to be in constant touch with through Facebook; there is no news I need from it; there is no connection I cannot find in some other way. It is literally information-free and value-free, it’s only purpose being to seduce me to lift my kimono and show you the goods, so other people can then use that to sell me something awful. In 2018 it is a literally valueless service, unless you’re selling something that’s probably useless and you need easy marks. Then it’s probably worth something. Otherwise, it’s a vacuum cleaner, and you’re personal information is the dust.
People who are recommending you keep using Facebook are not your friends, any more than a drug dealer or a card carrying member of the NRA is, unless you support pathological disconnection from reality, on the one hand, and easy enablement of mass murder of innocents on the other. Shun them. Mark Zuckerberg is as close as we have to a domestic war criminal, given the massive amount of psychological damage he’s done to young American minds and the amount of creative time he’s consumed when they are in their prime. We just don’t have a way to recognize or name this kind of war criminal yet, but there he is, big as life, fat and happy and prosperous as he pumps his poison software through the air.
How much more of your life are you willing to give Zuckerberg, and get nothing in return? He’s not the equivalent of Bill Gates or Steve Jobs or Admiral Grace Hopper. Forget cocaine addict Sorkin’s foolish movie. Zuckerberg is the equivalent of the Winston or Raleigh company. He sells your kids something that eeks their lives away and makes them sicker every time they use it.
I also recently deleted Twitter. You don’t realize the effects these things have on you until you stop using them; then, you realize your thinking is still jerkily responding to the news with ‘clever tweets’, and you feel it; then, with relief, you feel it fade, as if you were getting over being sick. Your mind starts to have ordered, complex thought again. Twitter is for people who want to be Comic Book Guy, thinking only in short, quippy remarks. Perhaps that is all you are capable of; perhaps that is the best you could ever do, and Twitter is a godsend to you. Then, by all means, as long as I don’t have to read it, have at it.
Has it ever occurred to you that Twitter might at least be in part a cause of Donald Trump’s apparent mental illness, and not just a manifestation of it? No? Well, as Kirk said to Saavik, now you have something new to think about.
These are tough words, and I don’t mean to derogate* anyone (except Zuckerberg, who I am confident can take it.) I am painting things plainly in the hope that it will give you the inner boost you need to make a tough decision and vote for yourself. I know how hard it is to give up an addiction. If you have the courage to try, you have only my admiration and support.
Best thing I’ve discovered lately: on your iPad, you can set Restrictions|Websites so that you can only easily see websites you’ve already approved. Good for controlling the kids, of course, but also for controlling you. That moment when the device demands a password before you go waste more time on Politico (the National Enquirer of Politics) gives you that precious chance to back off, save your dime, and go do something better.
Remember: software is great when it helps you do human work. When all it does is suck your life away, enable the vicious and stupid, dispense dangerous fantasy, nurture violent emotions, and destroy your system of government, all in the name of, let’s all laugh at this, ‘disruption’, then it is a devouring monster. Don’t let it eat you. The hours of your life are precious and few, and here’s the takeaway:
A life spent on Facebook and Twitter is not a life worth living. It’s a life that doesn’t matter.
DISCLAIMER. I have friends who work for Facebook. They are really nice people, and some of them invented the fantastic React Native. Even so, they should stop. I worked for Fox News for a week in 2010 and whenever I remember that I still have to take a shower.
*It’s a better word than disrespect, which is too colloquial. Use it.
